Sunday, October 02, 2005
Gollum, gollum
Last night we had political-geek fun while watching LOTR: Return of the King (extended edition). I hadn't seen the extended edition; it alleviated some of my disappointment in this, the third installation. Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli being almost buried in an avalanche of human skulls was pure Peter Jackson...I hope the fame doesn't turn him away from splash-stick forever.
Anyway, we were ascribing the names of various politicians to characters in the movie...
GOLLUM
(hissed whisper)
Shhh! Quiet!
SMEAGOL'S features suddenly transform into the MALEVOLENT
face of GOLLUM!
GOLLUM (cont'd)
Mustn't wake them, mustn't ruin it now!
SMEAGOL casts a quick glance over his SHOULDER to the
SLEEPING figures of FRODO and SAM as he clambers off his ROCK
. . . silently sidling towards the EDGE of a STAGNANT POOL.
SMEAGOL
They knows, they knows, they suspects us.
SMEAGOL stares into the MURKY depths of the WATER.
The SURFACE RIPPLES as the face of GOLLUM appears as SMEAGOL'S
REFLECTION.
GOLLUM., . ,.ยท
What is it saying,.my Precious, my love? Is .
Smeagol losing his nerve??
SMEAGOL :
No! Not! Never!! Smeagol hates nasty
Hobbitses! Smeagol wants to see: them -
dead!
GOLLUM
And we will . . ,- Smeagol did it once. . .
(sly)
. . . He can do it again.
FLASH INSERT: SMEAGOL choking DEAGOL . . . Fingers locked tight
around his THROAT.
GOLLUM (cont'd)
It's ours - ours!
SMEAGOL
We must get the Precious. We must get it
back.
GOLLUM
Patience, patience, my love. First we must
lead them to her.
It's Helen!"
SMEAGOL
We lead them to the windy stairs.
GOLLUM
(prompting)
Yes, the stairs ... and then?
SMEAGOL
Up, up, up, up the stairs we go . . . until
we come to . . .
(naughty excitement)
... the Ministerial Office!!
GOLLUM
(quiet)
And when they go in, there's no coming out.
She's always hungry, she always needs to
feed. She must eat, all She gets is filthy
Orcses.
SMEAGOL
And they doesn't taste very nice, does
they, Precious? .
GOLLUM
(sinister)
No . . . not very nice at all, my love. She
hungers for sweeter meats . . .
John Tamahere! And when She throws away the
bones and the empty clothes, then we will
find it . . .
SMEAGOL
And take it for Me!
GOLLUM
(correcting)
For us . . .
SMEAGOL
Yes, we, we meant for us . . .
(choking cough)
Go Hum! Go Hum!
I guess you had to be there. But play some time. It's fun. Honest.
1 Comments:
Well done. I'm sure it's magnitudes more funny in-situ, but my imagination will have to suffice.
